Traveling with Three!

So on this trip we had the usual diarrhea and urine leakages but we also had an epic breastfeeding fail. After breastfeeding for more than 6 years straight (except for most of two pregnancies) I thought I got this breastfeeding thing. Here I am using my English reserve to understate this: not exactly.

the baby in her traveling outfit

I normally feed the baby at 7:30 when we both wake up. The day we flew we had to be the airport at 7 for a 9 am flight. So when I woke up at 5:30, I fed the baby. Job done, right?

Wrong. At 7:30 just as we were halfway through security, my breastmilk let down. I was tiptoeing in socks as my shoes had been taken and folding my arms across my chest while security personnel said things like 'Is it okay if I check this bag/baby food...?' and 'Can I check this bag?' and I was like DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I had forgotten my breast pads. Note to self: passports are not the only important thing to pack - think passports and breast pads, the two P's in future!

Anyway by the time I got through security it was too late. My shirt was drenched.

On every trip for the last 7 years I have packed a spare shirt for myself and never needed it. So when I was packing for this trip I said to myself I never need a spare shirt so why pack something useless?

during a layover at the Newark airport

I ended up buying a shirt. At an expensive beyond-security-airport-shop. It was supposedly half price so I guess I should be thankful. It is also the nicest shirt I own. As it should be. The fabric for my wedding dress cost less. This shirt basically cost more than my wedding dress.

Anyway so after going wedding dress I mean shirt shopping, we hunkered down by the smaller but still existent soft play in the Edi airport. Why did they remove the good and bigger soft play?

The whole trip single people kept stomping by me muttering 'Ridiculous' and 'Can't believe this' under their breath and I felt like standing up and saying 'You don't have kids, you have NO IDEA what ridiculous and can't believe this mean!'

waiting for the shuttle in Newark - Primus and Secondus refused to wear coats; Tertius in the sling with scarf over her head

We were impressed with the Edinburgh-Newark flight. The difference between a 9 hour and 6 hour + flight is huge - it's those last 3 hours where everything really falls apart!

People in Newark airport were pretty nice. Not all of them but a lot! Compared to 0% of people being nice at the Atlanta airport, this was a nice change.

Our layover in Newark was due to be 7.5 hours. I figured we would just look for the breastfeeding room advertised on the Newark airport website and hunker down. But then we got rescheduled for a 8.5 hour layover and my husband wisely said 'Let's get a hotel.'

It was the best decision ever. On our way back we tried vainly to locate the breastfeeding room and got sent on a wild goose chase for an hour around the terminals and air trains that ended with finding a locked family bathroom.

But the hotel was great! We paid basically the equivalent of a full night's stay for the 8 hours but it was so nice to have a place to change the baby, nap and have free wifi. The kids had a whale of a time. They were supposed to sleep but I think they thought it was a sleepover. Why do hotels always put beds just far enough apart for kids to jump from one to another?

on bed at the hotel

We made coffee and there was free ice water downstairs and a pool, though we didn't use that. The shuttle was free. It took longer to get to than I expected, having been spoiled once in Paris by staying at an Ibis that you could walk to and was literally next door to the airport. That was sort of what I expected but alas. All the other hotel's shuttles came and we were told that the Fairfield's shuttle driver was asleep in the car park across the way lol.

Despite starting a month early on getting the kids onto American time, the baby was seriously weirded out by our trip. I thought my Super Mom of Three powers might do away with all the waking-up-in-the-night-hourly nonsense but no, baby still reverted to her newborn state for the first week. She also broke a new tooth. It was fun.

middle child cuddling baby in airport

Observations about traveling with three:

• instead of sewing cute swaddling blankets from upcycled materials, I grabbed two bin bags for changing diapers on. they folded up smaller than my reusable diaper changing mat and were disposable, or could be used for rubbish or soiled clothing.
• Baby got that game on the kindle where you hit the 'Tom' cat rather than classic board books like her brothers
• we packed 3 kindles which was good because the built-in tv in front of my husband and sons were broken! Thank goodness for the Ninjago game app!
• instead of sewing my own sling, we used the one we bought this time around. It had clever buckles and was a lot less warm and fiddly than my homemade slings!
• Baby wore her 2nd nicest dress and best frock coat as opposed to my sons who I think wore sleepsuits and jean overalls on their first flights. Baby had a huge following of enthusiastic fans. People offered to hold her so I could eat and take the middle child to the bathroom!

Things I regret on this trip:

• not packing a backup shirt so I had to go shopping for the-shirt-more-expensive-than-my-wedding-dress  

  

  the infamous shirt on the left, verses the wedding dress on right

• not packing the baby's moisturizer creams - after all my banging on about not forgetting prescription medicines, I forgot the baby's
• trying to bag up and bring up diarrhea-covered clothing to wash later. It just got thrown away at a later date after being accidentally discolored in a bucket of bleach by a braindead jetlagged mum.
• not asking my in-laws to turn the heating on the night before - it took hours for our home to warm up and we were freezing
• feeling like I was spending so much money. You spend money to get prepped, you spend money while you're traveling on shirts and food, you spend money to come home. It just felt like an endless spending expedition.
• not being Super Invincible. There was still that feeling of going on when too exhausted to do anything but exist (and maybe not even that). 
• There was still the feeling of being watched all the time and like my parenting was being judged and found wanting - like when I stared fixedly at walls rather than engage my children in nurturing discourse. Or when I fed them candy instead of craisins. Or when I should have taken the baby to the nasty, smelly airplane bathroom for a diaper change but everyone around me was asleep, it was dark, and I just did it on my lap in about 25 seconds and hoped no one noticed.

Recovery

I think it takes a week per person for the family to recover. So if there are 3 of you, it takes 3 weeks, if there are 5 of you, it takes 5 weeks.

So here we are 5 weeks on and starting to feel normal or as normal as you ever feel with 3 children under the age of 6.

Solo Packing for Transatlantic Trip

On my first solo trip I way over packed - I had a roller case to carry on and checked luggage too. Over the years I have paired down to knowing what is critical to pack and what can easily be left at home.

In an era of skyrocketing baggage charges, it makes sense to limit the amount of luggage on a trip.

There is nothing more embarrassing than coming home with clothes you never wore once on your trip - or worse something really heavy that you never used, like a hairdryer. So to save time, money and traveler's embarrassment, pack light!

Here are the essentials:

• Lots of disposable plastic bags - good for laundry, trash when there's no trash can around, and grocery runs - in the UK there is a law that you have to pay for even the cheapest plastic carrier bags at the supermarkets.
  
• Ziplock bags - sometimes leftovers from one meal can be a sustaining snack or the next meal 
• 
• Tissue 
  
• Face moisturizer/sunscreen - a combo of these is best 
  
• Soap bar or scrap in a zip lock bag, or soapless soap in your liquids
  
  
• Comb 
  
• Face towel 
  
• Brush 
  
  
• Mints 
  
• travel meds/general pain relief medication / chapstick / any medication you usually take - many a trip has been ruined by forgetting prescription medication for example anti-depressants
  
• One set of clothes with an extra set of undies and socks 
  
• One set of nightclothes which could double as backup day clothes 
  
• Laundry liquid to wash clothes in the sink every night 
  
• Hand cream - traveling often involves washing with really hand-destroying soaps - and hand sanitizer or a combo
• 
• Toothpaste 
  
• Toothbrush 
  
• Earbuds - sometimes airlines charge you for earbuds on the plane or give you low quality ones.
  
• Travel sickness bracelets 
  
• Phone and charger - you can use Wifi for free as far as your phone service is concerned; some European coffee shops still expect you to at least buy a drink if you're using their wifi. This should be treated as part of cultural courtesy. 
  
• A pen and a backup pen! 
  
• Water bottle 
  
  
  
• Sun glasses - if going somewhere potentially sunny like France or Italy especially if driving
  
• Camera 
  
• Visa documents and Passports 
  
• Documentation for everything
• frequent flyer numbers
• ticket numbers
• all paperwork and boarding passes from the outward flight

To wear:
Layers and any bulky jackets/coats
All money, passports, visa in inside pocket or hidden travel pouch
Easy on and off shoes for going through security

And that's it! All you need to breeze through security whilst everyone else on your flight lurks in baggage reclaim for ages.

Also see my what not to pick list and what I am telling my little sister about traveling in Europe alone!

The Super Dad Pack

International Travel Dad changes diapers in airplane bathrooms. International Travel Dad carries three bags and children. International Travel Dad goes without sleep for 26 hours to get his family to safety. International Travel Dad is Super Dad under cover.

D said after our first few transatlantic flights with kids that, 'Everyone else always seems so well prepared and to have everything they need. I don't know how they do it.'

So I put my mind to it and realized although we take a lot of things we need in an emergency, they are not always where we need them.

I then researched travel vests and made me own. This was good for me because it meant the essentials were never up in the overhead lockers. I could just pop the tissue out of my pockets, or the wipes and diapers.

But this didn't solve D feeling like he never had what he needed - especially if he and one or both children were far from me.

So we came up with the idea of the Super Dad Pack.

It is a collection of things that D puts in his pockets. He takes it out at Security so I try to keep everything in small baggies - no loose change. Man pockets tend to be bigger than lady pockets so he can usually fit:

• money in different currencies - airports take any but we usually have a certain currency that is cheaper to buy or we have coins that need using up
• phone
• phone charger
• mints
• earbuds
• tissue
• wipes - I repackage 5 wipes into a small ziplock baggie and replenish this baggie as needed
• a pen
• a small notepad / sticky notepad
• a rubber band or two - good for closing up packets of food we leave half-eaten or letting your kids play with for hours, shooting it across airport lounges
• a disposable spoon
• a travel toothbrush in a case 
• ziplock bag
• a surprise! (in photo below happy/sad face stickers which might occupy the children or which might give Mom a laugh if he sticks an 'unhappy sticker' on the forehead of a squalling baby)

Travel has a way of throwing unexpected circumstances at you but with these essentials you can battle many foes.

Breastfeeding, Expressing and Postpartum Recovery on Transatlantic Flights

Breastfeeding 

People swear on all that is holy that 'Breastfeeding is the best thing for traveling!' 

They say just breastfeed as the plane is going up and down and it's so good for baby's ears and tummy. It will make their little ears 'pop.'

I've made 6 transatlantic trips and one to Europe since Dec 2011, and I was lactating for all of them. This means I have breastfed on a total of 26 flights.  

Everyone assumes it's Edenic to breastfeed on flights but I think like everything there's more to the story.

The legs up against the wall/mom's face position

Pros

• you have milk on tap within reason
• your breast milk is always the right temperature
• helps prevent diarrhea in baby
• staves off dehydration in baby
• you don't have to carry around formula and sample it at Security
• keeps you from having to smell formula on the whole trip
• helps soothe baby
• the act of breastfeeding can clear baby's ears on takeoff and landing
• breast milk may calm baby's tummy
• produces poo that is not so smelly or terrible as non-breastfeeding options - and babies always have their worst diapers on planes.
• you can sometimes even feed baby to sleep
• some gifted, flexible individuals have learned how to breastfeed without troubling the people around them. I saw one Australian mum from London breastfeeding with baby in a sling.
• you can claim you 'need' a bulkhead seat because you're a breastfeeding mum (I heard a Glaswegian mum do this once - successfully)

The legs in the aisle position - works for everyone but flight attendants with trolleys

Cons

• Your nipples get sore from excessive feeding and/or friction against baby while sharing a seat for hours, bouncing baby between connections and staggering through customs and immigration. Packing nipple cream/coconut oil/whatever you use for sore nipples is essential. Otherwise it can negatively impact breastfeeding for weeks.
• You get dehydrated
• If you try hard not to get dehydrated, you end up needing to go to the bathroom constantly. If you are traveling without your spouse, you need to get a stranger to hold baby so you can go to the bathroom. You also end up drinking disgusting lukewarm water. Certain airlines need to learn about coolers and ice cubes.
• You can never find the nursing shawl when you need it
• Baby always needs it now when just about to hand passports to flight attendants to get on bus to get on the plane, and no one offers you a seat on the bus.
• People stare. Think about breastfeeding in front of sleek businessmen. A whole cabin of sleek businessmen.
• The breastfeeding-at-takeoff-to-help-ears-pop trick only works if baby is willing to sit on your lap without breastfeeding for 1+ hour till takeoff. We were on one flight that boarded the young families first, then had delays, and we were sitting 2 hours later without having moved an inch. We had breastfed quite a few times before this point and he had fallen asleep. He woke up with a shriek as we finally took off and cried for hours - finally falling asleep as we were about to land 9 hours later. I then learned that you must exert an iron will to refuse to breastfeed until takeoff if your child is old enough to be distracted with something else - clearly you should never refuse a dehydrated baby or a tiny baby who needs regular feeds.
• Breast milk doesn't calm tummies to the point that baby never spits up. Baby spits up when least expected.
• It can be tricky or even impossible to get a large baby to breastfeed while eating dinner, or without invading the space of those around you or without the passing trolley clonking baby's head or feet.
• Breast milk is not limitless. No matter what experts tell you. Baby wants to feed the whole time but you can't. I have the best milk supply of anyone I have ever met - hence why I am still breastfeeding a 3-year-old - but there is a point about 6-9 hours into a trip when it just dries up. I am sorry but no one is conditioned to breastfeed for 9 hours straight, while stressed, while queasy, while drinking lukewarm water to stay hydrated, while hightailing around airports to catch connections. By the time we are landing on our last flight, I am usually waaaaay out of milk.

Expressing Breast milk

Pumping milk is another vexing issue when traveling. If your body is accustomed to pumping 10 oz a day at certain times, then you are going to want to pump 10 oz.

Toting a pump in the airport seems like a waste of your precious carry-on baggage. Sterilizing and packing pre-sterilized bottles can also be tricky. You probably feel the need for privacy while you pump - and it's hard to pump under a blanket (try it, really).

You can ask your airline ahead of time if there is somewhere clean and private for you to pump while traveling.

If you need to pump during a 6 hour Seatbelt Sign saga then you will be one uncomfy passenger. I know there are Seatbelt Sign eras which are fairly lax but we were on one trip that was extra turbulent and the flight crew shouted at anyone over the intercom who dared to stand. So it really depends.

If the extra 10 oz are not consumed by baby on a regular basis - say at an 11 pm night time bottle feed with dad - but instead you stick it in the freezer or pour it over your older child's cereal, I would recommend weaning yourself over the month or two prior to the trip from 10 oz a day down to no more than 2-4 oz. Your baby might need an extra few ounces or your body will probably absorb those extra ounces without too much trouble.

You could just assume baby will drink 10 extra oz than usual on the trip but baby might go off breastfeeding in response to getting a cold or wanting to wean or just general travel - you never know. It's better not to add the pain of engorgement and possible mastitis to your itinerary.

If you express milk before your trip to feed baby during travel, you are allowed to bring more than the normal 3 oz limit. Remember you may have to taste it going into security. I always felt this would be weird so I've never done it but I know mums who have.

If you have to leave baby behind

If you leave your breastfeeding baby behind on your trip and want to maintain a good milk supply, you may have to tote pumping equipment through the airport so you can pump regularly to maintain a good supply for a very young baby. If you save this milk you pump, you may not be able to bring it through security if it's not for a baby on the actual trip.

Heathrow was shamed recently for not allowing a pumping mom to bring four gallons of frozen breastmilk through security and home to her kid in the States. Heathrow has now made changes to its policies to be more friendly but other airports may not be on board yet.

Postpartum Recovery

A lot of people find delivery of a child changes many things in their lives - not just the C section scars but the huge hormonal changes of having a baby to cause all sorts of issues. The tricky thing about planning a big trip in the postpartum stage is that you often plan the trip months or weeks before the baby is born, or soon thereafter, so you don't know the full effect of labor and delivery.

Here are some common postpartum recovery issues

• hair loss - this makes a difference if you can't do anything to cover it up on a long trip and people take lots of photos on your visit. Most people find they're back to normal after a year.
• difficulty regaining pre-preg shape - a lucky few lose all their weight by 6 months but it always took me 9 months to 18 months.
• excessive sweating - usually over by 3 months but may continue a bit longer
• incision pain if you have a C-section - final checkups usually at 3 months
• tearing during labor - which should be healed by your 6 or 12 week checks
• bleeding/lochia - could be over in 3 weeks but might last 3 months
• lack of return of normal periods so you don't know if you're pregnant or not
• hemorrhoids/piles
• backache - usually develops after a weakening of abdominal muscles and you need to recover and work on posture though in some cases as with me you'll need physio therapy to get back to normal
• joint ache - I found this was gone by 3 months but I knew someone for whom it didn't end till total weaning
• mastitis - this can develop any time but the three times I got it were in conjunction with trying to wean too swiftly whilst generally overdoing it
• other infections - bladder, etc
• stress incontinence - needing to go to the bathroom more and not being quite so in control anymore - usually over by 4 months if you're good about your exercises
• sleep deprivation - usually not so bad after your baby weighs more than 12 pounds and becomes capable of sleeping through the night
• postpartum thyroiditis - I never had this but supposedly it's similar to:
• postpartum depression - some people find it doesn't go away till they finish breastfeeding and that travel exacerbates it

Most of these problems you can technically travel with but will make things a tad more complicated. It is definitely something to keep in mind while planning a trip. 

I was always desperate to take my new baby back to the States to meet the family. I eagerly suggested travel a month or six weeks postpartum but my parents wisely counseled to wait till four months. Waiting till four months can smooth the bumps in your travel experience and go a long way toward recovery.

Pregnancy while Traveling

Many see pregnancy as the ideal time to travel - a last yahoo before baby comes and changes everything. It can be a real bonding time for you and your spouse as you plan your future together with baby.

Update:

The official Medical Advice (from my midwife in the UK, who works for the NHS and is a granny):

• the real danger in traveling pregnant is a DVT or deep veins thrombosis
• dehydration is not a good idea in pregnancy either though

The avoid a DVT or deep vein thrombosis

Move around. My midwife suggested being as mobile as possible to keep circulation going.
'Get up and go to the bathroom whenever you can,' she said. 'Or just get up and stretch.'
She also suggested leg exercises, anything to keep from sitting still the whole 10 hour flight.

To avoid dehydration

My midwife said I should buy a milkshake or smoothie or even a cup of tea in between connections, and to try to drink on the flight as much as possible.
'Try ginger ale or anything with lemon, ginger or mint.'
Drinking a lot also means going to the bathroom a lot so these two sort of fed each other. This is a lot easier to do when you don't have a clingy child or two on the flight.

Extras

My midwife also suggested wearing flight socks - the medical variety are best but even just knee high socks that are reasonably tight are better than nothing.
It is worth checking with individual airlines before you book a flight because some airlines refuse to let you travel after 24 weeks or not without a letter from your doctor.

What to wear

I have tried wearing
trousers
sweatpants
and decided for me the most comfortable is the trousers because I am always worried about underwear lines showing on my thin sweatpants, and also trousers are easier to scrub clean if some food or something gets on them. They also feel more formal and make me feel more grown up. I have a pair cut on the bias with a very stretchy waistband which is great for the early stages of pregnancy.
I also think comfortable shoes are essential, especially ones you don't have to do a lot of fiddling while bending over them.

Smells

Smells are harder to deal with when pregnant so I discovered my long sleeve undershirt was my best friend - I pulled it over my nose as soon as I entered the airplane toilet to filter the disgusting smells.
The worst smell other than the bathrooms is when you step onto the plane, and all the airport smog and airplane gas is being blasted by the turbines right up your nostrils. It makes me reel. I always try to hold my breath, but the crowds always crawl onto the airplane so sometimes you don't have much choice. I thought about pulling my shirt up as a filtering mask at this point but thought it might get some odd looks.

Lifting Heavy Objects

I would never recommend taking a lap baby when pregnant. It puts a lot of pressure on your abdomen, as I know from experience.
Don't be shy of asking people to lift heavy bags into the overhead compartment. You don't want that sort of pressure on your core, my midwife said.

Fainting

If you are prone to fainting in pregnancy, it may be to do with being dehydrated or not eating enough. In which case you should try to always have some ginger biscuits to nibble on. I have even asked if it was okay to nibble on biscuits while being dealt with at check in desk or in other funny airport situations.

If you cannot keep anything down, you may be doomed to getting a bit faint.

It might not be a bad idea to label your bag and have an emergency contact and your GP or midwife's number in your wallet.

Vomiting

When all else fails - make sure you always have your 'barf bag' ready. One of my sisters always managed to get off the plane before she threw up but in pregnancy, I find I never even make it to the bathroom.
I think it's part of traveler's universal courtesy to tell your seatmate, 'Don't worry it's not a stomach bug - I'm pregnant' so they don't have to wonder.
On my last trip I managed not to throw up while we were circling over the Firth of Forth or while everyone was filing off the plane but as soon as those airplane fuel smells oozed into the cabin, I was throwing up everything I had and didn't have in my stomach. After three flights in 24 hours, it wasn't a lot.
This is another reason to travel light because my little backpack didn't fit in the overhead compartments because everyone else brought a roller case and a handbag so when I boarded the plane I had to take it to the back and put it with the flight attendant's baggage. This meant I had to wait for everyone to get off the plane before I could retrieve my luggage.
I carried off my 'barf bag' and got on the bus that drove to the airport building, and hauled my barf bag and passport through customs and immigration before I found a trash can/rubbish bin to drop the barf bag.

Being absentminded

I think it's important to tell immigration officers that you're pregnant from the get go in case you accidentally slip into talking about 'we' and 'us' when referring to just yourself, traveling solo (but pregnant), and they get suspicious.
It's worth taking some extra dollars or other currency in case you realize you have forgotten something essential for the trip.

Stress is theorized to impact pregnancies negatively. So try to keep stress levels down when traveling.

There are some great things about traveling pregnant as well as hairier points.

Pros:

• You can tell your seat partners that you are pregnant and get their sympathy
• You can ask your husband to do more with the born child/children
• It's easier to fall asleep because you're exhausted 
• You can shop for maternity clothes in exotic climes

Cons:

• Your born child/children may be extra clingy and suddenly your space is cramped by a baby inside and a baby outside hanging like a limpet
• You may be more emotional and little more foggy than usual so prone to make poor split-second decisions.
• Your hair seems a more prominent feature 
  
• Your morning sickness may coincide with travel sickness - and you can't take travel meds
• You are terrified of hurting the baby by being dehydrated, hungry, overly-tired, bending over too much, overly-stressed...so you force yourself to eat while feeling sick, to try to sleep, to sacrifice pride and ask people to do things for you
• You may need to use the bathroom constantly which can be tricky based on the Seatbelt Sign being on or seating arrangements. Being pregnant, you are less nimble when it comes to leaping over anyone blocking you to the aisle. I always ask for an aisle seat!
• Some believe it is not safe to travel whilst pregnant, that it could cause an early birth or even miscarriage. If you are worried, you should speak to your doctor.

Traveling pregnant is hard. There are many challenges but it can still be special to share with friends and family.

Next see traveling while breastfeeding, expressing and recovering!

Choosing Seats and Battle Mapping for Transatlantic Travel with Multiple Small Children

Where's the battle strategy? Clearly it's all in the positioning.

For under 5's, we recommend the parents divide and conquer on transatlantic flights.

Here is a normal plane - it has bulk head seats at the front of sections, first class at the front of the plane, toilets and the golden area in the back where food and drink are available.

Look at the red seats. This looks like  an ideal situation - bulkhead seats for mom with lap baby, dad and older child. But you cannot get in and out without disturbing neighbors, esp if there are any bags or tables and drinks set out. You do have more leg room, easy access to the toilet and more attention from the flight crew.

This scenario has happened to us more than once. One lap baby and four people in a row of three. It is a little harder to get the flight attendants' attention. The toilets are still nearby. You have easy access to the aisle. You have to check before you lean your seat back and you have to be aware of the people in front as well - they might lean their chair back unexpectedly while your baby is on your lap. The best thing about this scenario is that one of the kids can sit by the window!

This is the safest part of the plane - near the furthest back exits. It is also blessedly near the toilets. Flight attendants and therefore unlimited bottled water are within easy reach. You still have to keep tabs on whether the kids are kicking the seats in front. Ideally the kids are not sitting next to each other as they will probably keep each other awake. You have easy access to one aisle and best of all you can lean your seat back without worrying about cramping the person behind you!

This is the most difficult scenario - two inner row seats with two lap babies. You won't be able to get out to use the toilet without making at least one person stand up or cringe back as you hop over them. You are cramped with people in every direction. This was about to happen to us once and we felt blessed to be moved to a bulkhead in the first half hour of the flight.

This 3-1 scenario can be tricky with one parent in the row behind the rest of the family. We thought it would work well for us to take turns being the parent on duty but as it turned out after 10 minutes of managing two kids you suffer extreme fatigue. It is hard to concentrate on two and make sure that neither is kicking the seat in front and that their basic needs are met.

This is the other 3-1 scenario. Dad and Child 1 behind and Mom and lap baby in front. Each parent looks after one kid to keep a consistent management. This scenario is usually a result of too many moms with babies being on the flight so they only give the bulkhead to the mums and the dads get stuck in elsewhere. Another benefit is that Child 1 can sit behind mom and not inadvertently kick the chair of a stranger who might be reticent to complain. It actually works well as long as dad has everything he needs. 

It's better if you can gauge one kid the whole time if possible. It depends on seating and the mood of the passengers around you of course. And there's nothing wrong with asking your spouse to watch your charge while you go to the bathroom.

If you do one kid the whole time, you can have consistent strategy (one gift or sweet an hour) and keep tabs on how many diaper changes/bathroom trips he's taken and how much he's eaten and how much he's slept so when he's bad you can target the area he's most deprived. For example 'Your brother has had a nap on this trip but you haven't tried that yet, I think you'll be much happier if you do.'

For Under 3's

Try to get both kids in the same nappy/diaper size - it works if your kids are close in age and just two sizes apart. We traveled once when Z was size 5 and Y was size 3, so we packed loads and loads of size 4 nappy/diapers. That helped us faffing about looking for the correct size in frantic changing situations.
Clearly this won't work if you have a newborn and a 3-year-old but sometimes if your children are 18 months apart or less, at certain stages, this works a treat.