Traveling with Three!

So on this trip we had the usual diarrhea and urine leakages but we also had an epic breastfeeding fail. After breastfeeding for more than 6 years straight (except for most of two pregnancies) I thought I got this breastfeeding thing. Here I am using my English reserve to understate this: not exactly.

the baby in her traveling outfit

I normally feed the baby at 7:30 when we both wake up. The day we flew we had to be the airport at 7 for a 9 am flight. So when I woke up at 5:30, I fed the baby. Job done, right?

Wrong. At 7:30 just as we were halfway through security, my breastmilk let down. I was tiptoeing in socks as my shoes had been taken and folding my arms across my chest while security personnel said things like 'Is it okay if I check this bag/baby food...?' and 'Can I check this bag?' and I was like DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I had forgotten my breast pads. Note to self: passports are not the only important thing to pack - think passports and breast pads, the two P's in future!

Anyway by the time I got through security it was too late. My shirt was drenched.

On every trip for the last 7 years I have packed a spare shirt for myself and never needed it. So when I was packing for this trip I said to myself I never need a spare shirt so why pack something useless?

during a layover at the Newark airport

I ended up buying a shirt. At an expensive beyond-security-airport-shop. It was supposedly half price so I guess I should be thankful. It is also the nicest shirt I own. As it should be. The fabric for my wedding dress cost less. This shirt basically cost more than my wedding dress.

Anyway so after going wedding dress I mean shirt shopping, we hunkered down by the smaller but still existent soft play in the Edi airport. Why did they remove the good and bigger soft play?

The whole trip single people kept stomping by me muttering 'Ridiculous' and 'Can't believe this' under their breath and I felt like standing up and saying 'You don't have kids, you have NO IDEA what ridiculous and can't believe this mean!'

waiting for the shuttle in Newark - Primus and Secondus refused to wear coats; Tertius in the sling with scarf over her head

We were impressed with the Edinburgh-Newark flight. The difference between a 9 hour and 6 hour + flight is huge - it's those last 3 hours where everything really falls apart!

People in Newark airport were pretty nice. Not all of them but a lot! Compared to 0% of people being nice at the Atlanta airport, this was a nice change.

Our layover in Newark was due to be 7.5 hours. I figured we would just look for the breastfeeding room advertised on the Newark airport website and hunker down. But then we got rescheduled for a 8.5 hour layover and my husband wisely said 'Let's get a hotel.'

It was the best decision ever. On our way back we tried vainly to locate the breastfeeding room and got sent on a wild goose chase for an hour around the terminals and air trains that ended with finding a locked family bathroom.

But the hotel was great! We paid basically the equivalent of a full night's stay for the 8 hours but it was so nice to have a place to change the baby, nap and have free wifi. The kids had a whale of a time. They were supposed to sleep but I think they thought it was a sleepover. Why do hotels always put beds just far enough apart for kids to jump from one to another?

on bed at the hotel

We made coffee and there was free ice water downstairs and a pool, though we didn't use that. The shuttle was free. It took longer to get to than I expected, having been spoiled once in Paris by staying at an Ibis that you could walk to and was literally next door to the airport. That was sort of what I expected but alas. All the other hotel's shuttles came and we were told that the Fairfield's shuttle driver was asleep in the car park across the way lol.

Despite starting a month early on getting the kids onto American time, the baby was seriously weirded out by our trip. I thought my Super Mom of Three powers might do away with all the waking-up-in-the-night-hourly nonsense but no, baby still reverted to her newborn state for the first week. She also broke a new tooth. It was fun.

middle child cuddling baby in airport

Observations about traveling with three:

• instead of sewing cute swaddling blankets from upcycled materials, I grabbed two bin bags for changing diapers on. they folded up smaller than my reusable diaper changing mat and were disposable, or could be used for rubbish or soiled clothing.
• Baby got that game on the kindle where you hit the 'Tom' cat rather than classic board books like her brothers
• we packed 3 kindles which was good because the built-in tv in front of my husband and sons were broken! Thank goodness for the Ninjago game app!
• instead of sewing my own sling, we used the one we bought this time around. It had clever buckles and was a lot less warm and fiddly than my homemade slings!
• Baby wore her 2nd nicest dress and best frock coat as opposed to my sons who I think wore sleepsuits and jean overalls on their first flights. Baby had a huge following of enthusiastic fans. People offered to hold her so I could eat and take the middle child to the bathroom!

Things I regret on this trip:

• not packing a backup shirt so I had to go shopping for the-shirt-more-expensive-than-my-wedding-dress  

  

  the infamous shirt on the left, verses the wedding dress on right

• not packing the baby's moisturizer creams - after all my banging on about not forgetting prescription medicines, I forgot the baby's
• trying to bag up and bring up diarrhea-covered clothing to wash later. It just got thrown away at a later date after being accidentally discolored in a bucket of bleach by a braindead jetlagged mum.
• not asking my in-laws to turn the heating on the night before - it took hours for our home to warm up and we were freezing
• feeling like I was spending so much money. You spend money to get prepped, you spend money while you're traveling on shirts and food, you spend money to come home. It just felt like an endless spending expedition.
• not being Super Invincible. There was still that feeling of going on when too exhausted to do anything but exist (and maybe not even that). 
• There was still the feeling of being watched all the time and like my parenting was being judged and found wanting - like when I stared fixedly at walls rather than engage my children in nurturing discourse. Or when I fed them candy instead of craisins. Or when I should have taken the baby to the nasty, smelly airplane bathroom for a diaper change but everyone around me was asleep, it was dark, and I just did it on my lap in about 25 seconds and hoped no one noticed.

Recovery

I think it takes a week per person for the family to recover. So if there are 3 of you, it takes 3 weeks, if there are 5 of you, it takes 5 weeks.

So here we are 5 weeks on and starting to feel normal or as normal as you ever feel with 3 children under the age of 6.

Trunkis

We have owned two British Trunkis since December 2014 and taken them 30,000 miles. The trunkis have been extremely useful but also frustrating at times.

Pros:

• they are rolling suitcases which the kids can ride on, eliminating the need for a buggy/stroller
• they fit in the overhead compartment
• they pass the time on long layovers
• they are a good way to 'park' the child somewhere like in the line to registration. It's easy to say, 'Stay on the trunki' and keep them to it.
• they are cute
• they are novel

They actually fit a lot of small items

Cons:

• they don't actually fit as much stuff as you'd think and are a strange shape - you cannot pack in stuff like you normally would a backpack or roller case. There aren't separate compartments for things. I wouldn't feel safe putting for example a kindle inside as it would get jounced around and fall about.
• unless you are a die-hard minimalist, it is hard to pack everything a family needs for a transatlantic flight and one or two connecting flights in two trunkis. If you bring anything other than the bare essentials, there just isn't the space. I often end up packing one or two backpacks as well as the trunkis.
• The most I can fit in a trunki is generally one child's nightclothes, earphones, laptop or activity book, crayons and snacks. However if I split up the kids equipment between the trunkis, it's a pain to get out from the overhead compartments because trunkis don't balance well on laps when open - they're large, unwieldy and not weighted properly for it. If one child is asleep and we're juggling the other one, it can be quite tricky unless I decide to block the entire aisle to lay the trunkis on the floor to riffle through. Two open trunkis take up about three or four feet of aisle and it feels like a great imposition on anyone who might need to get up from the seats to go to the bathroom. So as far as trunkis being a practical way to take stuff on a trip, they're not great for actually being on the plane. My latest adaptation is to have all the 'we need it now' items in a small purse and then backups and items we use rarely or only once on the trip in the trunkis. I would top up the snacks and emergency items in my purse about once every hour or two. Meanwhile the purse fit under the seat in front of me or on my lap easily. This system worked better than I thought it would.
• trunkis are great indoors like an airport but less sensible on dog-poo-covered pavements or cobblestone or pebble paths. If your trip involves these, ditch the trunkis ahead of time.
• there's no way to keep a toddler strapped to the trunki, unlike a buggy where the toddler is buckled down. If your toddler is determined to run away while you are at customs/immigration, there's no way to keep them down other than to drop everything and restrain them with your hands - which you probably need to juggle passports, visa documents and to prove finger prints.
• they are not great for Under 3's - one of our 2-year-olds has been known to fall off the back of the trunki and hit his head on a marble floor.
• I'd be scared to put trunkis through checked baggage as they do not close completely and seem rather delicate so you're stuck with them as hand luggage even if your outbound trip isn't a smashing success.
• wheels are fixed so turning can be a bit tricky - no tight corners, you have to plan ahead!
• going downhill can be a bit disastrous but  luckily our airports normally don't have steep slopes in them. I say normally but you never know!
• they are not great on escalators - we pull the kids off and carry the trunkis up but some airports have a lot of escalators so this can get tedious
• trunkis can be a bit of a hazard in crowds, esp if you're like me and not great at steering. It's easy to almost do someone in with one of these things.
• the website used to claim that trunkis encourage kids to take ownership of their own luggage and become responsible - haha! Before this year when our kids are now 5 and 3, we have never been on a trip where the kids weren't too tired to ride the trunkis by the end and needed to be carried, as well as having the trunkis carried with them.
• It's awkward to carry a trunki, a child and a backpack or other luggage simultaneously

Heathrow Airport

London Heathrow has had a bad rep for a long time. Some is legit, some is not deserved, in my opinion.

The Heathrow British Airways baggage handlers' shift ended in the middle of unloading our plane to find two passengers' bags who didn't board. The next shift didn't come on for about 45 minutes so we sat and sat on the unmoving plane for at least an hour and a half till we got permission to use the runway.

The queues went on for miles but every employee at Heathrow was polite. Interestingly I expected their English to be better than Amsterdam or Paris's airports and it was - but most of the people we interfaced with did not speak English as their first language.

Heathrow has amazing escalator systems going up three or more levels. Our kids thought this was novel.

It has lots of shopping and places to eat. There was even a cash machine.

The seats seemed clean and new.

 The ladies bathrooms were clean with free hand cream!

There was this amazing soft play area too - with separated zones for babies and older kids - and an attendant who supervised the play! The best part was that there was a loooooooong couch-like object running alongside and many parents were lying down and napping while their spouse watched the kids.

Pregnancy while Traveling

Many see pregnancy as the ideal time to travel - a last yahoo before baby comes and changes everything. It can be a real bonding time for you and your spouse as you plan your future together with baby.

Update:

The official Medical Advice (from my midwife in the UK, who works for the NHS and is a granny):

• the real danger in traveling pregnant is a DVT or deep veins thrombosis
• dehydration is not a good idea in pregnancy either though

The avoid a DVT or deep vein thrombosis

Move around. My midwife suggested being as mobile as possible to keep circulation going.
'Get up and go to the bathroom whenever you can,' she said. 'Or just get up and stretch.'
She also suggested leg exercises, anything to keep from sitting still the whole 10 hour flight.

To avoid dehydration

My midwife said I should buy a milkshake or smoothie or even a cup of tea in between connections, and to try to drink on the flight as much as possible.
'Try ginger ale or anything with lemon, ginger or mint.'
Drinking a lot also means going to the bathroom a lot so these two sort of fed each other. This is a lot easier to do when you don't have a clingy child or two on the flight.

Extras

My midwife also suggested wearing flight socks - the medical variety are best but even just knee high socks that are reasonably tight are better than nothing.
It is worth checking with individual airlines before you book a flight because some airlines refuse to let you travel after 24 weeks or not without a letter from your doctor.

What to wear

I have tried wearing
trousers
sweatpants
and decided for me the most comfortable is the trousers because I am always worried about underwear lines showing on my thin sweatpants, and also trousers are easier to scrub clean if some food or something gets on them. They also feel more formal and make me feel more grown up. I have a pair cut on the bias with a very stretchy waistband which is great for the early stages of pregnancy.
I also think comfortable shoes are essential, especially ones you don't have to do a lot of fiddling while bending over them.

Smells

Smells are harder to deal with when pregnant so I discovered my long sleeve undershirt was my best friend - I pulled it over my nose as soon as I entered the airplane toilet to filter the disgusting smells.
The worst smell other than the bathrooms is when you step onto the plane, and all the airport smog and airplane gas is being blasted by the turbines right up your nostrils. It makes me reel. I always try to hold my breath, but the crowds always crawl onto the airplane so sometimes you don't have much choice. I thought about pulling my shirt up as a filtering mask at this point but thought it might get some odd looks.

Lifting Heavy Objects

I would never recommend taking a lap baby when pregnant. It puts a lot of pressure on your abdomen, as I know from experience.
Don't be shy of asking people to lift heavy bags into the overhead compartment. You don't want that sort of pressure on your core, my midwife said.

Fainting

If you are prone to fainting in pregnancy, it may be to do with being dehydrated or not eating enough. In which case you should try to always have some ginger biscuits to nibble on. I have even asked if it was okay to nibble on biscuits while being dealt with at check in desk or in other funny airport situations.

If you cannot keep anything down, you may be doomed to getting a bit faint.

It might not be a bad idea to label your bag and have an emergency contact and your GP or midwife's number in your wallet.

Vomiting

When all else fails - make sure you always have your 'barf bag' ready. One of my sisters always managed to get off the plane before she threw up but in pregnancy, I find I never even make it to the bathroom.
I think it's part of traveler's universal courtesy to tell your seatmate, 'Don't worry it's not a stomach bug - I'm pregnant' so they don't have to wonder.
On my last trip I managed not to throw up while we were circling over the Firth of Forth or while everyone was filing off the plane but as soon as those airplane fuel smells oozed into the cabin, I was throwing up everything I had and didn't have in my stomach. After three flights in 24 hours, it wasn't a lot.
This is another reason to travel light because my little backpack didn't fit in the overhead compartments because everyone else brought a roller case and a handbag so when I boarded the plane I had to take it to the back and put it with the flight attendant's baggage. This meant I had to wait for everyone to get off the plane before I could retrieve my luggage.
I carried off my 'barf bag' and got on the bus that drove to the airport building, and hauled my barf bag and passport through customs and immigration before I found a trash can/rubbish bin to drop the barf bag.

Being absentminded

I think it's important to tell immigration officers that you're pregnant from the get go in case you accidentally slip into talking about 'we' and 'us' when referring to just yourself, traveling solo (but pregnant), and they get suspicious.
It's worth taking some extra dollars or other currency in case you realize you have forgotten something essential for the trip.

Stress is theorized to impact pregnancies negatively. So try to keep stress levels down when traveling.

There are some great things about traveling pregnant as well as hairier points.

Pros:

• You can tell your seat partners that you are pregnant and get their sympathy
• You can ask your husband to do more with the born child/children
• It's easier to fall asleep because you're exhausted 
• You can shop for maternity clothes in exotic climes

Cons:

• Your born child/children may be extra clingy and suddenly your space is cramped by a baby inside and a baby outside hanging like a limpet
• You may be more emotional and little more foggy than usual so prone to make poor split-second decisions.
• Your hair seems a more prominent feature 
  
• Your morning sickness may coincide with travel sickness - and you can't take travel meds
• You are terrified of hurting the baby by being dehydrated, hungry, overly-tired, bending over too much, overly-stressed...so you force yourself to eat while feeling sick, to try to sleep, to sacrifice pride and ask people to do things for you
• You may need to use the bathroom constantly which can be tricky based on the Seatbelt Sign being on or seating arrangements. Being pregnant, you are less nimble when it comes to leaping over anyone blocking you to the aisle. I always ask for an aisle seat!
• Some believe it is not safe to travel whilst pregnant, that it could cause an early birth or even miscarriage. If you are worried, you should speak to your doctor.

Traveling pregnant is hard. There are many challenges but it can still be special to share with friends and family.

Next see traveling while breastfeeding, expressing and recovering!