Traveling with Three!

So on this trip we had the usual diarrhea and urine leakages but we also had an epic breastfeeding fail. After breastfeeding for more than 6 years straight (except for most of two pregnancies) I thought I got this breastfeeding thing. Here I am using my English reserve to understate this: not exactly.

the baby in her traveling outfit

I normally feed the baby at 7:30 when we both wake up. The day we flew we had to be the airport at 7 for a 9 am flight. So when I woke up at 5:30, I fed the baby. Job done, right?

Wrong. At 7:30 just as we were halfway through security, my breastmilk let down. I was tiptoeing in socks as my shoes had been taken and folding my arms across my chest while security personnel said things like 'Is it okay if I check this bag/baby food...?' and 'Can I check this bag?' and I was like DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I had forgotten my breast pads. Note to self: passports are not the only important thing to pack - think passports and breast pads, the two P's in future!

Anyway by the time I got through security it was too late. My shirt was drenched.

On every trip for the last 7 years I have packed a spare shirt for myself and never needed it. So when I was packing for this trip I said to myself I never need a spare shirt so why pack something useless?

during a layover at the Newark airport

I ended up buying a shirt. At an expensive beyond-security-airport-shop. It was supposedly half price so I guess I should be thankful. It is also the nicest shirt I own. As it should be. The fabric for my wedding dress cost less. This shirt basically cost more than my wedding dress.

Anyway so after going wedding dress I mean shirt shopping, we hunkered down by the smaller but still existent soft play in the Edi airport. Why did they remove the good and bigger soft play?

The whole trip single people kept stomping by me muttering 'Ridiculous' and 'Can't believe this' under their breath and I felt like standing up and saying 'You don't have kids, you have NO IDEA what ridiculous and can't believe this mean!'

waiting for the shuttle in Newark - Primus and Secondus refused to wear coats; Tertius in the sling with scarf over her head

We were impressed with the Edinburgh-Newark flight. The difference between a 9 hour and 6 hour + flight is huge - it's those last 3 hours where everything really falls apart!

People in Newark airport were pretty nice. Not all of them but a lot! Compared to 0% of people being nice at the Atlanta airport, this was a nice change.

Our layover in Newark was due to be 7.5 hours. I figured we would just look for the breastfeeding room advertised on the Newark airport website and hunker down. But then we got rescheduled for a 8.5 hour layover and my husband wisely said 'Let's get a hotel.'

It was the best decision ever. On our way back we tried vainly to locate the breastfeeding room and got sent on a wild goose chase for an hour around the terminals and air trains that ended with finding a locked family bathroom.

But the hotel was great! We paid basically the equivalent of a full night's stay for the 8 hours but it was so nice to have a place to change the baby, nap and have free wifi. The kids had a whale of a time. They were supposed to sleep but I think they thought it was a sleepover. Why do hotels always put beds just far enough apart for kids to jump from one to another?

on bed at the hotel

We made coffee and there was free ice water downstairs and a pool, though we didn't use that. The shuttle was free. It took longer to get to than I expected, having been spoiled once in Paris by staying at an Ibis that you could walk to and was literally next door to the airport. That was sort of what I expected but alas. All the other hotel's shuttles came and we were told that the Fairfield's shuttle driver was asleep in the car park across the way lol.

Despite starting a month early on getting the kids onto American time, the baby was seriously weirded out by our trip. I thought my Super Mom of Three powers might do away with all the waking-up-in-the-night-hourly nonsense but no, baby still reverted to her newborn state for the first week. She also broke a new tooth. It was fun.

middle child cuddling baby in airport

Observations about traveling with three:

• instead of sewing cute swaddling blankets from upcycled materials, I grabbed two bin bags for changing diapers on. they folded up smaller than my reusable diaper changing mat and were disposable, or could be used for rubbish or soiled clothing.
• Baby got that game on the kindle where you hit the 'Tom' cat rather than classic board books like her brothers
• we packed 3 kindles which was good because the built-in tv in front of my husband and sons were broken! Thank goodness for the Ninjago game app!
• instead of sewing my own sling, we used the one we bought this time around. It had clever buckles and was a lot less warm and fiddly than my homemade slings!
• Baby wore her 2nd nicest dress and best frock coat as opposed to my sons who I think wore sleepsuits and jean overalls on their first flights. Baby had a huge following of enthusiastic fans. People offered to hold her so I could eat and take the middle child to the bathroom!

Things I regret on this trip:

• not packing a backup shirt so I had to go shopping for the-shirt-more-expensive-than-my-wedding-dress  

  

  the infamous shirt on the left, verses the wedding dress on right

• not packing the baby's moisturizer creams - after all my banging on about not forgetting prescription medicines, I forgot the baby's
• trying to bag up and bring up diarrhea-covered clothing to wash later. It just got thrown away at a later date after being accidentally discolored in a bucket of bleach by a braindead jetlagged mum.
• not asking my in-laws to turn the heating on the night before - it took hours for our home to warm up and we were freezing
• feeling like I was spending so much money. You spend money to get prepped, you spend money while you're traveling on shirts and food, you spend money to come home. It just felt like an endless spending expedition.
• not being Super Invincible. There was still that feeling of going on when too exhausted to do anything but exist (and maybe not even that). 
• There was still the feeling of being watched all the time and like my parenting was being judged and found wanting - like when I stared fixedly at walls rather than engage my children in nurturing discourse. Or when I fed them candy instead of craisins. Or when I should have taken the baby to the nasty, smelly airplane bathroom for a diaper change but everyone around me was asleep, it was dark, and I just did it on my lap in about 25 seconds and hoped no one noticed.

Recovery

I think it takes a week per person for the family to recover. So if there are 3 of you, it takes 3 weeks, if there are 5 of you, it takes 5 weeks.

So here we are 5 weeks on and starting to feel normal or as normal as you ever feel with 3 children under the age of 6.

Renewing a child's passport

I cannot believe my eldest son is almost 5! We applied for his US passport and got it a few weeks after his birth so his passport photo shows him looking like a squishy wee baby!

Our eldest child's passport is about to expire.

It would expire halfway through our Christmas visit to the States. It is illegal for a citizen of the U.S. to travel without a valid U.S. passport.

We decided to renew the almost-expired-passport before we go. It is permissible to renew at any time, you don't have to wait for the old passport to expire, we learned.

The steps involved:

1. Order photos (at least 2 per year, showing how your child develops between stages) or a photo book - if you haven't been updating your child's baby book or 'best of' album, do so now! Though it is important to note that a hard backed 13-by-9 inch book does not fit through the glass between the interviewer and interviewee, so maybe go for a paperback version that bends, or just realize that you'll have to hand the book to the security officer to pass through to the back. He has to bring it back to you at the end too.
2. Get American passport photos - we get ours at the Digital Image Centre at 27 Elm Row - but take a tape measure because they do occasionally get it wrong. It is supposed to be 2 inches by 2 inches with the head between 25 and 35 mm. See the official consulate or embassy website for more information.
3. Fill out the form, which you do online and then print
4. Set a date for the appointment and ensure that whole family will be there or that you have the relevant documents if one of them cannot. Use the Consulate website to schedule the appointment.
5. Budget for passport fees - there is no expedited service outside the States but the normal service is quick - our passports have always arrived within a week or two. You must pay by card or International Money Order, they do not accept cash.
6. Buy the return envelope, a pre-paid, self addressed Royal Mail Special Delivery envelope insured up to 500g.
7. Attend your appointment, allowing time to go through security. 
8. We always ask someone to drive us to the appointment to ensure we're not late while trying to catch buses, etc. The Consulate in Edinburgh has no bathroom facilities - there is a sign in the waiting room counseling that the nearest toilet is in the St. James Centre. The St. James Centre is currently closed so I imagine the closest toilet is probably the art museum or somewhere equally far - probably nothing within a 15 min walk. So all this to say - make your kids go to the toilet before you leave and try to keep the trip as short as possible by getting a taxi or a friend to drive you. I think the earlier in the morning you schedule the appointment, the less likely long queues are. 
9. The family before us had their kid wearing his school uniform and with his hair combed neatly. Our kids arrived in their sport class clothes, looking like slobs with messy hair. My eldest still got his passport but I wished I had put a tad more effort into it.
10. Our Consulate in Edinburgh has a few books for the kids but we brought plenty of paper and pens to keep the kids busy as well. There are clipboards in the waiting room which were novel to use, for our kids.

Renewal requires a few photocopies and original documents but nowhere as many as the original passport.

And that was it - we received our son's new passport within 8 or 9 days.

the shiny new passport

Update 19/8/19:
PHOTOCOPIES OF THE DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REQUIRED!

If you're like me, you will have gathered all the documents, filled in the form, and printed photocopies before applying for an appointment at the U.S. Consulate. I then received an email a week before the appointment saying we did not need the photocopies. I could have saved so much printer ink!

We just renewed Number 2 Son's passport.

We were totally a slick operation - we knew to turn off our phones and hand them over first thing. We had all our paperwork accessible. Our kids and ourselves were clean, tidy and well-dressed.

But they still made us wait around for an hour, despite our appointment being at 9 am. Note to self: bring lots of things to do with the kids!