How to get your child to sleep whilst traveling

So if I knew the secret to getting kids to sleep whilst traveling I'd write a book and sell a million copies but here are some things that have worked for us in the past.

Before the Trip

Slowly start bringing baby over to US time (or time at destination). We always aim to morph about halfway so that she's only 2.5 hours off either time. Our children who normally go down at 7 pm are staying up till 9:30 pm, and instead of waking up at 6 am sleeping in till 8:30 am.

Here is a suggested schedule:
6 weeks prior to the trip: move bedtimes and meals forward by 30 minutes
5 weeks: move bedtimes and meals forward by 1 hour total (an addition of 30 min from last week)
4 weeks: move bedtimes and meals forward 1 1/3 hours total
3 move bedtimes and meals forward 1 2/3 hours total
2 move bedtimes and meals forward 2 hours total
1 move bedtimes and meals forward 2.5 hours total

I find that at the beginning and end I am more committed to it, hence why the 20 min forwarding occurs in the middle.

Sleep Associations

Children and babies like us can have strong sleep associations. If you can predict what will help your children sleep, you will be more prepared.

For babies

• what worked well for us this time was a fan heater when I was breastfeeding to sleep. The roar of the airplane is similar and in the States my parents put a fan heater in our room. In a hotel, esp during winter, it is easy to request one.
• other sleep associations might be 
• a bath
• baby massage
• cotton sleepsuits
• cotton swaddling
• a special toy
• a special song
• or all of the above - in an unbreakable order - it may be tempting to cut corners so you can visit with family you traveled so far to see but don't even be tempted. You will regret it when she wakes up in 2 hours acting like 'That was a nice nap, Mom!'

For older kids

• Do they sleep in complete darkness or have night lights? 
• Make sure you take nightlights or get the grandparents to invest in nightlights. 
• A strong routine works well here too: cereal snack, storytime, goodnight song, prayer.

Whilst Traveling

On the airplane and the kids don't sleep, don't despair - our friend's kids sleep beautifully on the plane and then never adjust to the time difference. If your kids don't sleep, just remember they'll probably adapt faster at the other end and you'll be glad for it in a few hours when you're trying to sleep at your destination because they'll actually be tired too.

Creatures of Habit

My kids make some military regimes look like a honeymoon. They absolutely need a routine.

• Don't neglect exercise. We found a brisk walk every day helped the kids adjust and be tired at the right times.
• Also don't neglect other routines - such as homeschool first thing in the morning.
• Look on the bright side - you can finish homeschool before everyone else in the house wakes up

Regrets

Have realistic expectations - they are just kids. I made an enemy of a neighbor in our apartment when I let a jet-lagged toddler cry for hours after we got back from a trip. Don't be like me.

This revelation changed our travel experience!

When you arrive at your destination, move your eating schedule to get on time faster. A big part of what wakes you up in the States is hunger cues at breakfast time your time. If you can push your breakfast back a half hour every day, you'll get onto the time faster.

After the trip

Back home in the UK: we tend to expect the older kids to wake up at midnight and have a sort of 'midnight snack and reading time' for the first two nights, then wake up for a drink and go back to bed on later nights. For babies, it'll take a week or more.

Renewing a child's passport

I cannot believe my eldest son is almost 5! We applied for his US passport and got it a few weeks after his birth so his passport photo shows him looking like a squishy wee baby!

Our eldest child's passport is about to expire.

It would expire halfway through our Christmas visit to the States. It is illegal for a citizen of the U.S. to travel without a valid U.S. passport.

We decided to renew the almost-expired-passport before we go. It is permissible to renew at any time, you don't have to wait for the old passport to expire, we learned.

The steps involved:

1. Order photos (at least 2 per year, showing how your child develops between stages) or a photo book - if you haven't been updating your child's baby book or 'best of' album, do so now! Though it is important to note that a hard backed 13-by-9 inch book does not fit through the glass between the interviewer and interviewee, so maybe go for a paperback version that bends, or just realize that you'll have to hand the book to the security officer to pass through to the back. He has to bring it back to you at the end too.
2. Get American passport photos - we get ours at the Digital Image Centre at 27 Elm Row - but take a tape measure because they do occasionally get it wrong. It is supposed to be 2 inches by 2 inches with the head between 25 and 35 mm. See the official consulate or embassy website for more information.
3. Fill out the form, which you do online and then print
4. Set a date for the appointment and ensure that whole family will be there or that you have the relevant documents if one of them cannot. Use the Consulate website to schedule the appointment.
5. Budget for passport fees - there is no expedited service outside the States but the normal service is quick - our passports have always arrived within a week or two. You must pay by card or International Money Order, they do not accept cash.
6. Buy the return envelope, a pre-paid, self addressed Royal Mail Special Delivery envelope insured up to 500g.
7. Attend your appointment, allowing time to go through security. 
8. We always ask someone to drive us to the appointment to ensure we're not late while trying to catch buses, etc. The Consulate in Edinburgh has no bathroom facilities - there is a sign in the waiting room counseling that the nearest toilet is in the St. James Centre. The St. James Centre is currently closed so I imagine the closest toilet is probably the art museum or somewhere equally far - probably nothing within a 15 min walk. So all this to say - make your kids go to the toilet before you leave and try to keep the trip as short as possible by getting a taxi or a friend to drive you. I think the earlier in the morning you schedule the appointment, the less likely long queues are. 
9. The family before us had their kid wearing his school uniform and with his hair combed neatly. Our kids arrived in their sport class clothes, looking like slobs with messy hair. My eldest still got his passport but I wished I had put a tad more effort into it.
10. Our Consulate in Edinburgh has a few books for the kids but we brought plenty of paper and pens to keep the kids busy as well. There are clipboards in the waiting room which were novel to use, for our kids.

Renewal requires a few photocopies and original documents but nowhere as many as the original passport.

And that was it - we received our son's new passport within 8 or 9 days.

the shiny new passport

Update 19/8/19:
PHOTOCOPIES OF THE DOCUMENTS ARE NOT REQUIRED!

If you're like me, you will have gathered all the documents, filled in the form, and printed photocopies before applying for an appointment at the U.S. Consulate. I then received an email a week before the appointment saying we did not need the photocopies. I could have saved so much printer ink!

We just renewed Number 2 Son's passport.

We were totally a slick operation - we knew to turn off our phones and hand them over first thing. We had all our paperwork accessible. Our kids and ourselves were clean, tidy and well-dressed.

But they still made us wait around for an hour, despite our appointment being at 9 am. Note to self: bring lots of things to do with the kids!

Choosing Seats and Battle Mapping for Transatlantic Travel with Multiple Small Children

Where's the battle strategy? Clearly it's all in the positioning.

For under 5's, we recommend the parents divide and conquer on transatlantic flights.

Here is a normal plane - it has bulk head seats at the front of sections, first class at the front of the plane, toilets and the golden area in the back where food and drink are available.

Look at the red seats. This looks like  an ideal situation - bulkhead seats for mom with lap baby, dad and older child. But you cannot get in and out without disturbing neighbors, esp if there are any bags or tables and drinks set out. You do have more leg room, easy access to the toilet and more attention from the flight crew.

This scenario has happened to us more than once. One lap baby and four people in a row of three. It is a little harder to get the flight attendants' attention. The toilets are still nearby. You have easy access to the aisle. You have to check before you lean your seat back and you have to be aware of the people in front as well - they might lean their chair back unexpectedly while your baby is on your lap. The best thing about this scenario is that one of the kids can sit by the window!

This is the safest part of the plane - near the furthest back exits. It is also blessedly near the toilets. Flight attendants and therefore unlimited bottled water are within easy reach. You still have to keep tabs on whether the kids are kicking the seats in front. Ideally the kids are not sitting next to each other as they will probably keep each other awake. You have easy access to one aisle and best of all you can lean your seat back without worrying about cramping the person behind you!

This is the most difficult scenario - two inner row seats with two lap babies. You won't be able to get out to use the toilet without making at least one person stand up or cringe back as you hop over them. You are cramped with people in every direction. This was about to happen to us once and we felt blessed to be moved to a bulkhead in the first half hour of the flight.

This 3-1 scenario can be tricky with one parent in the row behind the rest of the family. We thought it would work well for us to take turns being the parent on duty but as it turned out after 10 minutes of managing two kids you suffer extreme fatigue. It is hard to concentrate on two and make sure that neither is kicking the seat in front and that their basic needs are met.

This is the other 3-1 scenario. Dad and Child 1 behind and Mom and lap baby in front. Each parent looks after one kid to keep a consistent management. This scenario is usually a result of too many moms with babies being on the flight so they only give the bulkhead to the mums and the dads get stuck in elsewhere. Another benefit is that Child 1 can sit behind mom and not inadvertently kick the chair of a stranger who might be reticent to complain. It actually works well as long as dad has everything he needs. 

It's better if you can gauge one kid the whole time if possible. It depends on seating and the mood of the passengers around you of course. And there's nothing wrong with asking your spouse to watch your charge while you go to the bathroom.

If you do one kid the whole time, you can have consistent strategy (one gift or sweet an hour) and keep tabs on how many diaper changes/bathroom trips he's taken and how much he's eaten and how much he's slept so when he's bad you can target the area he's most deprived. For example 'Your brother has had a nap on this trip but you haven't tried that yet, I think you'll be much happier if you do.'

For Under 3's

Try to get both kids in the same nappy/diaper size - it works if your kids are close in age and just two sizes apart. We traveled once when Z was size 5 and Y was size 3, so we packed loads and loads of size 4 nappy/diapers. That helped us faffing about looking for the correct size in frantic changing situations.
Clearly this won't work if you have a newborn and a 3-year-old but sometimes if your children are 18 months apart or less, at certain stages, this works a treat.