Choosing Seats and Battle Mapping for Transatlantic Travel with Multiple Small Children

Where's the battle strategy? Clearly it's all in the positioning.

For under 5's, we recommend the parents divide and conquer on transatlantic flights.

Here is a normal plane - it has bulk head seats at the front of sections, first class at the front of the plane, toilets and the golden area in the back where food and drink are available.

Look at the red seats. This looks like  an ideal situation - bulkhead seats for mom with lap baby, dad and older child. But you cannot get in and out without disturbing neighbors, esp if there are any bags or tables and drinks set out. You do have more leg room, easy access to the toilet and more attention from the flight crew.

This scenario has happened to us more than once. One lap baby and four people in a row of three. It is a little harder to get the flight attendants' attention. The toilets are still nearby. You have easy access to the aisle. You have to check before you lean your seat back and you have to be aware of the people in front as well - they might lean their chair back unexpectedly while your baby is on your lap. The best thing about this scenario is that one of the kids can sit by the window!

This is the safest part of the plane - near the furthest back exits. It is also blessedly near the toilets. Flight attendants and therefore unlimited bottled water are within easy reach. You still have to keep tabs on whether the kids are kicking the seats in front. Ideally the kids are not sitting next to each other as they will probably keep each other awake. You have easy access to one aisle and best of all you can lean your seat back without worrying about cramping the person behind you!

This is the most difficult scenario - two inner row seats with two lap babies. You won't be able to get out to use the toilet without making at least one person stand up or cringe back as you hop over them. You are cramped with people in every direction. This was about to happen to us once and we felt blessed to be moved to a bulkhead in the first half hour of the flight.

This 3-1 scenario can be tricky with one parent in the row behind the rest of the family. We thought it would work well for us to take turns being the parent on duty but as it turned out after 10 minutes of managing two kids you suffer extreme fatigue. It is hard to concentrate on two and make sure that neither is kicking the seat in front and that their basic needs are met.

This is the other 3-1 scenario. Dad and Child 1 behind and Mom and lap baby in front. Each parent looks after one kid to keep a consistent management. This scenario is usually a result of too many moms with babies being on the flight so they only give the bulkhead to the mums and the dads get stuck in elsewhere. Another benefit is that Child 1 can sit behind mom and not inadvertently kick the chair of a stranger who might be reticent to complain. It actually works well as long as dad has everything he needs. 

It's better if you can gauge one kid the whole time if possible. It depends on seating and the mood of the passengers around you of course. And there's nothing wrong with asking your spouse to watch your charge while you go to the bathroom.

If you do one kid the whole time, you can have consistent strategy (one gift or sweet an hour) and keep tabs on how many diaper changes/bathroom trips he's taken and how much he's eaten and how much he's slept so when he's bad you can target the area he's most deprived. For example 'Your brother has had a nap on this trip but you haven't tried that yet, I think you'll be much happier if you do.'

For Under 3's

Try to get both kids in the same nappy/diaper size - it works if your kids are close in age and just two sizes apart. We traveled once when Z was size 5 and Y was size 3, so we packed loads and loads of size 4 nappy/diapers. That helped us faffing about looking for the correct size in frantic changing situations.
Clearly this won't work if you have a newborn and a 3-year-old but sometimes if your children are 18 months apart or less, at certain stages, this works a treat.