Prepping for a Big Trip

Six months before trip

Requests

It is good to contact your air line with anything that needs prep time or to which there might be queues. Any Christmas-time flight is likely to have 4 or more babies onboard and only one or two bulk-head seats. 

I always have success if I contact the airline before the 24 hour cancellation window runs out - that is, as soon as the tickets are booked but before I can't change them if the airline isn't helpful.

Things to request early

• any special meals on flight - kid meals, gluten-free, etc
• a baby bassinet in bulk head row if needed
• transport assistance if say you're traveling alone with a baby and a toddler

Stocking up

check everyone's passports are in date!!!!
hit the after school sales to find special pens and pads for distracting bored kids while traveling
start saving money
think about changing to the currency of the destination country - sometimes exchange rates are better at certain times of year. For example British pounds tend to be stronger in the summer against dollars.

Two months before trip

• don't be tempted to put off dental and doctor appointments till you get back, you will thank me on the other end! There's nothing more wearying than coming home to a slew of appointments.
• check all the essential-to-pack items to ensure they are working - your portable charger, your ipod (if you're antiquated like me), your kid's earphones. If any of these items are not working, it can take two weeks to get replacements so start early!

  

  The thing that sets apart families that travel frequently from first-timers is prepping the fine details like safe ear phones!

• buy magazines for your kids, preferably different ones - say the October and November editions as the December edition is always too extra-y and makes it unfair.
• decide whether to begin getting everyone to stay up a little later to get onto U.S. time. We aim to be at least 2.5 hours ahead before we travel.
• speaking of sleeping - sleep-train the baby and toddler. See my method here.
• if part of your travel plan is getting your baby to sleep in the front carrier, practice getting her to sleep in the front carrier at least once a week for four weeks in a row (not like once)
• avoid getting germs and esp ear infections - buy orange juice, add vitamin c tablets to your water, limit play dates, avoid soft play centres, don't go to the pool, etc. Don't care what it is, if it works, do it! 
• check passport expiry dates if you haven't already but do it again anyway
• arrange for gifts, homeschool materials, etc to be sent to your destination preferably or to you so you have time to pack them
• clean out your bag(s) that you are taking. It can take days for a backpack to dry out so don't leave it till the last minute. If your bags need cleaning that is - we always seem to have crumbs and muddy trousers in the bottom of all our bags.
• start stocking up on snacks to take on the trip - experiment and see what the kids will eat and won't cause diaper disasters. Also locate/purchase and hide the mini water bottles. You have to take them empty through security before filling them up at the water fountain, remember! 

  

  fountain in Amsterdam in 2016

• I get the kids to help me research books and apps they might enjoy playing. We spend about 10 minutes a day trying them out - more if I'm scrubbing out backpacks or packing.
• write list of goals for the trip so you can edit and hone the list and then work your plan
• if you plan to see friends, write to them all to let them know your dates of arrival and departure and ask them when they're available.
• if you plan to shop, check previous shopping lists and/or write a new one

Setting low expectations in your children

On one flight my little brother who was on his first trip abroad burst into tears.

'I thought it would be so fun, having a tv on the flight,' he wept.

In reality he couldn't hear the movie because of the roar of the engine, he was cramped into a tiny seat and for a high-energy kid that can be difficult, and there was nothing to eat that he liked.

My sibs and I had bigged up traveling to him to unrealistically highs. If we had told him how awful it could be, he might have been pleasantly surprised.

I also:

• start prepping the kids on the differences between American and British English
• drill them on facial recognition of relatives and friends they might see
• discuss house rules or hotel etiquette in advance

Two weeks before

• Hair cuts so everyone looks good in photos by the time you travel
• Pack bags for the first time
  

A few days before trip

• Try to use up perishable food
• Try to do all the laundry so you don't come back to piles of it
• Try to clean the house or at least leave relatively tidy
• Back up all the data on your phone and make space for new pictures - I have lost a mobile phone on a trip once and it's not nice!
• Install an app to trace your phone if it does get lost
• Install at least one app the kids will enjoy playing. If you have multiple devices, download the same app to prevent quarreling over special kindle.
• Install the app for the airports and airlines you will be using
• Make sure you are well stocked on toilet paper, toothpaste, etc - it's awful coming home and being out of essentials
• Write out numbers for American/British consulates/embassies in locations you'll be on all legs of trip
• Ask your neighbor to keep an eye on the house and give number to call if see anything suspicious
• Set up grocery delivery for the day or day after your return
• Freeze an easy dinner - chicken pot pie or just a pizza. True confessions: we eat butter toast and cereal on the first night back, and my wonderful mum-in-law generally comes in the day before to leave us fresh milk and homemade bread!
• call 72 hours in advance of flight to make sure all is well with airline(s) and make sure loyalty club numbers made it, special meal requests went through, and everyone is sitting together or where they need to be.

The night before a trip

• lay out clothes for everyone - if you have more than one kid, try to match them in one color so you can tell at a glance if everyone is together and/or pick out your kids in a crowd (I usually go for neon orange). 
• As for shoes, I wear my oldest pair of shoes which are easy to slip on/off at airport security, and comfy so I don't get blisters, and loose so when my feet swell I can still wear them. And if someone vomits on them, I don't feel bad throwing them away because they're old. 
• check passports and other travel documents - insurance cards, driver licenses 
• make sure husband has drivers license, passport, any doc that he might be carrying or needing to hand over to you to carry. Nothing ruins a trip so much as flying 4,000 miles and arriving at the car rental place to discover your husband left his drivers license at home.
• check money - for taxi to and from in current country's currency is most important
• charge phones including foreign phones if taking those
• lay out Super Daddy Pack
• lay out Travel Vest
• check packing list
• check the not to pack list
• sign in to flight online if asked
• ensure everyone gets a good night's sleep
• use up any perishable food - but nothing to weird or borderline out of date for the kids
• empty bins/trash cans
• lock all doors and windows except one you're exiting out of
• discuss whether turning heating off or just to low while gone with spouse
• pre book taxi if getting a taxi (if your taxi company hasn't failed you in this department. We often call an uber or gett the morning of now.) The bus/tram often isn't working at the early hour we depart for the States.
• shave and shower
• make sure the kids have identification bracelets or that your name and mobile number are written somewhere on their person - some people recommend writing in biro on their kids' arms - this is effective but a bridge too far for me.
• charge phones, kindles, etc

The last minutes before trip

• use up or freeze any milk/other food that would go bad while away if didn't do that last night
• turn off all electrics at the wall
• check all doors, windows still locked
• wash any dishes you used at breakfast (disposable bowls/cups might be the way to go)
• close blinds/curtains
• set thermostat if you have one
• give travel sickness medicine to the child who threw up on the taxi to the airport last time

At the first airport

• Check in - you have to if you are traveling with a lap baby even if you don't have luggage to check but it's also a good opportunity to do these important checks:

• Did our skymiles/loyalty point numbers make it on the tickets?
• check if bulkhead seating available (though should have done that 4-6 months ago if serious about it) or even just are we all sitting together as a family
• get boarding passes all the way through - we have almost missed many a flight due to waiting in lines/queues to get a boarding pass for the second leg of their trip
• Go through security - but NOT during normal breastfeeding time, unless you want to repeat the waterfall breastmilk let down attack that I had once in the middle of security. Go find a seat and breastfeed the baby first, or get to the airport early enough to get through security before the let down occurs.
• Let the kids run off steam at the airport play area if there is one (Edinburgh used to have a good one and now only has the small one; London and Amsterdam have great ones!); breastfeed baby if baby is desperate, distract otherwise till airplane take-off which is the best time to breastfeed to help with their little ears popping

  

  soft play in London

• Two hours and/or ten minutes before getting on the airplane: give travel medicine or travel sickness bracelets to kids. That way if sticky medicine gets on hands, it can be washed in the bathroom rather than making the seats you'll be on for hours sticky
• Encourage everyone to use the toilet one last time
• We usually take the pre-boarding for young families opportunity for short flights, but not long flights unless we need to get on early to jockey seating so we can sit together. Otherwise you're often stuck on the airplane an hour or two longer than need-be whilst everyone else is boarded.
• everyone gets travel sickness bracelets and a chewy lollipop when it's time to take off; the baby gets a bottle or breast. Once we're in the air we hand out magazines and books.

And you're off!

How to get your child to sleep whilst traveling

So if I knew the secret to getting kids to sleep whilst traveling I'd write a book and sell a million copies but here are some things that have worked for us in the past.

Before the Trip

Slowly start bringing baby over to US time (or time at destination). We always aim to morph about halfway so that she's only 2.5 hours off either time. Our children who normally go down at 7 pm are staying up till 9:30 pm, and instead of waking up at 6 am sleeping in till 8:30 am.

Here is a suggested schedule:
6 weeks prior to the trip: move bedtimes and meals forward by 30 minutes
5 weeks: move bedtimes and meals forward by 1 hour total (an addition of 30 min from last week)
4 weeks: move bedtimes and meals forward 1 1/3 hours total
3 move bedtimes and meals forward 1 2/3 hours total
2 move bedtimes and meals forward 2 hours total
1 move bedtimes and meals forward 2.5 hours total

I find that at the beginning and end I am more committed to it, hence why the 20 min forwarding occurs in the middle.

Sleep Associations

Children and babies like us can have strong sleep associations. If you can predict what will help your children sleep, you will be more prepared.

For babies

• what worked well for us this time was a fan heater when I was breastfeeding to sleep. The roar of the airplane is similar and in the States my parents put a fan heater in our room. In a hotel, esp during winter, it is easy to request one.
• other sleep associations might be 
• a bath
• baby massage
• cotton sleepsuits
• cotton swaddling
• a special toy
• a special song
• or all of the above - in an unbreakable order - it may be tempting to cut corners so you can visit with family you traveled so far to see but don't even be tempted. You will regret it when she wakes up in 2 hours acting like 'That was a nice nap, Mom!'

For older kids

• Do they sleep in complete darkness or have night lights? 
• Make sure you take nightlights or get the grandparents to invest in nightlights. 
• A strong routine works well here too: cereal snack, storytime, goodnight song, prayer.

Whilst Traveling

On the airplane and the kids don't sleep, don't despair - our friend's kids sleep beautifully on the plane and then never adjust to the time difference. If your kids don't sleep, just remember they'll probably adapt faster at the other end and you'll be glad for it in a few hours when you're trying to sleep at your destination because they'll actually be tired too.

Creatures of Habit

My kids make some military regimes look like a honeymoon. They absolutely need a routine.

• Don't neglect exercise. We found a brisk walk every day helped the kids adjust and be tired at the right times.
• Also don't neglect other routines - such as homeschool first thing in the morning.
• Look on the bright side - you can finish homeschool before everyone else in the house wakes up

Regrets

Have realistic expectations - they are just kids. I made an enemy of a neighbor in our apartment when I let a jet-lagged toddler cry for hours after we got back from a trip. Don't be like me.

This revelation changed our travel experience!

When you arrive at your destination, move your eating schedule to get on time faster. A big part of what wakes you up in the States is hunger cues at breakfast time your time. If you can push your breakfast back a half hour every day, you'll get onto the time faster.

After the trip

Back home in the UK: we tend to expect the older kids to wake up at midnight and have a sort of 'midnight snack and reading time' for the first two nights, then wake up for a drink and go back to bed on later nights. For babies, it'll take a week or more.

Traveling with Three!

So on this trip we had the usual diarrhea and urine leakages but we also had an epic breastfeeding fail. After breastfeeding for more than 6 years straight (except for most of two pregnancies) I thought I got this breastfeeding thing. Here I am using my English reserve to understate this: not exactly.

the baby in her traveling outfit

I normally feed the baby at 7:30 when we both wake up. The day we flew we had to be the airport at 7 for a 9 am flight. So when I woke up at 5:30, I fed the baby. Job done, right?

Wrong. At 7:30 just as we were halfway through security, my breastmilk let down. I was tiptoeing in socks as my shoes had been taken and folding my arms across my chest while security personnel said things like 'Is it okay if I check this bag/baby food...?' and 'Can I check this bag?' and I was like DO WHAT YOU WANT.

I had forgotten my breast pads. Note to self: passports are not the only important thing to pack - think passports and breast pads, the two P's in future!

Anyway by the time I got through security it was too late. My shirt was drenched.

On every trip for the last 7 years I have packed a spare shirt for myself and never needed it. So when I was packing for this trip I said to myself I never need a spare shirt so why pack something useless?

during a layover at the Newark airport

I ended up buying a shirt. At an expensive beyond-security-airport-shop. It was supposedly half price so I guess I should be thankful. It is also the nicest shirt I own. As it should be. The fabric for my wedding dress cost less. This shirt basically cost more than my wedding dress.

Anyway so after going wedding dress I mean shirt shopping, we hunkered down by the smaller but still existent soft play in the Edi airport. Why did they remove the good and bigger soft play?

The whole trip single people kept stomping by me muttering 'Ridiculous' and 'Can't believe this' under their breath and I felt like standing up and saying 'You don't have kids, you have NO IDEA what ridiculous and can't believe this mean!'

waiting for the shuttle in Newark - Primus and Secondus refused to wear coats; Tertius in the sling with scarf over her head

We were impressed with the Edinburgh-Newark flight. The difference between a 9 hour and 6 hour + flight is huge - it's those last 3 hours where everything really falls apart!

People in Newark airport were pretty nice. Not all of them but a lot! Compared to 0% of people being nice at the Atlanta airport, this was a nice change.

Our layover in Newark was due to be 7.5 hours. I figured we would just look for the breastfeeding room advertised on the Newark airport website and hunker down. But then we got rescheduled for a 8.5 hour layover and my husband wisely said 'Let's get a hotel.'

It was the best decision ever. On our way back we tried vainly to locate the breastfeeding room and got sent on a wild goose chase for an hour around the terminals and air trains that ended with finding a locked family bathroom.

But the hotel was great! We paid basically the equivalent of a full night's stay for the 8 hours but it was so nice to have a place to change the baby, nap and have free wifi. The kids had a whale of a time. They were supposed to sleep but I think they thought it was a sleepover. Why do hotels always put beds just far enough apart for kids to jump from one to another?

on bed at the hotel

We made coffee and there was free ice water downstairs and a pool, though we didn't use that. The shuttle was free. It took longer to get to than I expected, having been spoiled once in Paris by staying at an Ibis that you could walk to and was literally next door to the airport. That was sort of what I expected but alas. All the other hotel's shuttles came and we were told that the Fairfield's shuttle driver was asleep in the car park across the way lol.

Despite starting a month early on getting the kids onto American time, the baby was seriously weirded out by our trip. I thought my Super Mom of Three powers might do away with all the waking-up-in-the-night-hourly nonsense but no, baby still reverted to her newborn state for the first week. She also broke a new tooth. It was fun.

middle child cuddling baby in airport

Observations about traveling with three:

• instead of sewing cute swaddling blankets from upcycled materials, I grabbed two bin bags for changing diapers on. they folded up smaller than my reusable diaper changing mat and were disposable, or could be used for rubbish or soiled clothing.
• Baby got that game on the kindle where you hit the 'Tom' cat rather than classic board books like her brothers
• we packed 3 kindles which was good because the built-in tv in front of my husband and sons were broken! Thank goodness for the Ninjago game app!
• instead of sewing my own sling, we used the one we bought this time around. It had clever buckles and was a lot less warm and fiddly than my homemade slings!
• Baby wore her 2nd nicest dress and best frock coat as opposed to my sons who I think wore sleepsuits and jean overalls on their first flights. Baby had a huge following of enthusiastic fans. People offered to hold her so I could eat and take the middle child to the bathroom!

Things I regret on this trip:

• not packing a backup shirt so I had to go shopping for the-shirt-more-expensive-than-my-wedding-dress  

  

  the infamous shirt on the left, verses the wedding dress on right

• not packing the baby's moisturizer creams - after all my banging on about not forgetting prescription medicines, I forgot the baby's
• trying to bag up and bring up diarrhea-covered clothing to wash later. It just got thrown away at a later date after being accidentally discolored in a bucket of bleach by a braindead jetlagged mum.
• not asking my in-laws to turn the heating on the night before - it took hours for our home to warm up and we were freezing
• feeling like I was spending so much money. You spend money to get prepped, you spend money while you're traveling on shirts and food, you spend money to come home. It just felt like an endless spending expedition.
• not being Super Invincible. There was still that feeling of going on when too exhausted to do anything but exist (and maybe not even that). 
• There was still the feeling of being watched all the time and like my parenting was being judged and found wanting - like when I stared fixedly at walls rather than engage my children in nurturing discourse. Or when I fed them candy instead of craisins. Or when I should have taken the baby to the nasty, smelly airplane bathroom for a diaper change but everyone around me was asleep, it was dark, and I just did it on my lap in about 25 seconds and hoped no one noticed.

Recovery

I think it takes a week per person for the family to recover. So if there are 3 of you, it takes 3 weeks, if there are 5 of you, it takes 5 weeks.

So here we are 5 weeks on and starting to feel normal or as normal as you ever feel with 3 children under the age of 6.

Lightweight Homemade Gifts

It can be easy to overpack a suitcase with gifts for your family back home. 

I know people who take 

• Christmas crackers
• Swiss chocolate
• Scottish shortbread
• French chocolate spread
• and Italian wine

back to the States as gifts. These are all relatively heavy. They also do not feel to me like a complete Christmas gift but rather supplementary to Christmas festivities.

Your family may say things like, 'The greatest gift is yourselves' or 'just bring yourselves.'

You can however save so much money with homemade gifts which you hand-deliver. The secret is to be travel savvy about it.

The best gift for traveling 

My friends and I have decided the most economic in terms of cost, space and weight is the humble pillowcase. 

Personalized pillowcases are a great gift for grandparents. The kids can decorate these with handprints and messages. It makes for a fun craft!

Just don't make the age-old mistake that I have often made of not putting a protective board or newspaper between layers to prevent 'bleeds.'

Other ideas

Here are some gifts we have made over the years to pack for transatlantic Christmases in the States.

As you can see my priority has been lightweight rather than not bulky for some of these. I find if I put them at the bottom of a backpack however, they tend to collapse down considerably.

doublet for budding Shakespearean

red fencing jacket for little sister - modeling it on myself

quilt topper for another sister

baby bag with personalized embroidery of name

Shakespeare-themed table runners - that was the year I made 4 for various family and friends

fencing jacket for little brother who is now taller than I am!

The dashing dude in the red Dickensian, double breasted piece is my work

This male model is sporting a vest we gave him - though now that I think about it, a plaid scarf would have been a good idea too!

quilted sleeping bag for American girls for American-girl themed sleepovers that my little sister attended

a kid sized kilt and maybe a homemade shirt to go with it! You can spend a fortune on kilt accessories but apparently to a real Scottish person the only essential is a belt.

Other ideas which we have done but don't have photos for:

• Personalized aprons
• personalized t shirts
• pattern pieces for extra pockets for a travel vest/jacket

Solo Packing for Transatlantic Trip

On my first solo trip I way over packed - I had a roller case to carry on and checked luggage too. Over the years I have paired down to knowing what is critical to pack and what can easily be left at home.

In an era of skyrocketing baggage charges, it makes sense to limit the amount of luggage on a trip.

There is nothing more embarrassing than coming home with clothes you never wore once on your trip - or worse something really heavy that you never used, like a hairdryer. So to save time, money and traveler's embarrassment, pack light!

Here are the essentials:

• Lots of disposable plastic bags - good for laundry, trash when there's no trash can around, and grocery runs - in the UK there is a law that you have to pay for even the cheapest plastic carrier bags at the supermarkets.
  
• Ziplock bags - sometimes leftovers from one meal can be a sustaining snack or the next meal 
• 
• Tissue 
  
• Face moisturizer/sunscreen - a combo of these is best 
  
• Soap bar or scrap in a zip lock bag, or soapless soap in your liquids
  
  
• Comb 
  
• Face towel 
  
• Brush 
  
  
• Mints 
  
• travel meds/general pain relief medication / chapstick / any medication you usually take - many a trip has been ruined by forgetting prescription medication for example anti-depressants
  
• One set of clothes with an extra set of undies and socks 
  
• One set of nightclothes which could double as backup day clothes 
  
• Laundry liquid to wash clothes in the sink every night 
  
• Hand cream - traveling often involves washing with really hand-destroying soaps - and hand sanitizer or a combo
• 
• Toothpaste 
  
• Toothbrush 
  
• Earbuds - sometimes airlines charge you for earbuds on the plane or give you low quality ones.
  
• Travel sickness bracelets 
  
• Phone and charger - you can use Wifi for free as far as your phone service is concerned; some European coffee shops still expect you to at least buy a drink if you're using their wifi. This should be treated as part of cultural courtesy. 
  
• A pen and a backup pen! 
  
• Water bottle 
  
  
  
• Sun glasses - if going somewhere potentially sunny like France or Italy especially if driving
  
• Camera 
  
• Visa documents and Passports 
  
• Documentation for everything
• frequent flyer numbers
• ticket numbers
• all paperwork and boarding passes from the outward flight

To wear:
Layers and any bulky jackets/coats
All money, passports, visa in inside pocket or hidden travel pouch
Easy on and off shoes for going through security

And that's it! All you need to breeze through security whilst everyone else on your flight lurks in baggage reclaim for ages.

Also see my what not to pick list and what I am telling my little sister about traveling in Europe alone!