Prepping for a Big Trip

Six months before trip

Requests

It is good to contact your air line with anything that needs prep time or to which there might be queues. Any Christmas-time flight is likely to have 4 or more babies onboard and only one or two bulk-head seats. 

I always have success if I contact the airline before the 24 hour cancellation window runs out - that is, as soon as the tickets are booked but before I can't change them if the airline isn't helpful.

Things to request early

• any special meals on flight - kid meals, gluten-free, etc
• a baby bassinet in bulk head row if needed
• transport assistance if say you're traveling alone with a baby and a toddler

Stocking up

check everyone's passports are in date!!!!
hit the after school sales to find special pens and pads for distracting bored kids while traveling
start saving money
think about changing to the currency of the destination country - sometimes exchange rates are better at certain times of year. For example British pounds tend to be stronger in the summer against dollars.

Two months before trip

• don't be tempted to put off dental and doctor appointments till you get back, you will thank me on the other end! There's nothing more wearying than coming home to a slew of appointments.
• check all the essential-to-pack items to ensure they are working - your portable charger, your ipod (if you're antiquated like me), your kid's earphones. If any of these items are not working, it can take two weeks to get replacements so start early!

  

  The thing that sets apart families that travel frequently from first-timers is prepping the fine details like safe ear phones!

• buy magazines for your kids, preferably different ones - say the October and November editions as the December edition is always too extra-y and makes it unfair.
• decide whether to begin getting everyone to stay up a little later to get onto U.S. time. We aim to be at least 2.5 hours ahead before we travel.
• speaking of sleeping - sleep-train the baby and toddler. See my method here.
• if part of your travel plan is getting your baby to sleep in the front carrier, practice getting her to sleep in the front carrier at least once a week for four weeks in a row (not like once)
• avoid getting germs and esp ear infections - buy orange juice, add vitamin c tablets to your water, limit play dates, avoid soft play centres, don't go to the pool, etc. Don't care what it is, if it works, do it! 
• check passport expiry dates if you haven't already but do it again anyway
• arrange for gifts, homeschool materials, etc to be sent to your destination preferably or to you so you have time to pack them
• clean out your bag(s) that you are taking. It can take days for a backpack to dry out so don't leave it till the last minute. If your bags need cleaning that is - we always seem to have crumbs and muddy trousers in the bottom of all our bags.
• start stocking up on snacks to take on the trip - experiment and see what the kids will eat and won't cause diaper disasters. Also locate/purchase and hide the mini water bottles. You have to take them empty through security before filling them up at the water fountain, remember! 

  

  fountain in Amsterdam in 2016

• I get the kids to help me research books and apps they might enjoy playing. We spend about 10 minutes a day trying them out - more if I'm scrubbing out backpacks or packing.
• write list of goals for the trip so you can edit and hone the list and then work your plan
• if you plan to see friends, write to them all to let them know your dates of arrival and departure and ask them when they're available.
• if you plan to shop, check previous shopping lists and/or write a new one

Setting low expectations in your children

On one flight my little brother who was on his first trip abroad burst into tears.

'I thought it would be so fun, having a tv on the flight,' he wept.

In reality he couldn't hear the movie because of the roar of the engine, he was cramped into a tiny seat and for a high-energy kid that can be difficult, and there was nothing to eat that he liked.

My sibs and I had bigged up traveling to him to unrealistically highs. If we had told him how awful it could be, he might have been pleasantly surprised.

I also:

• start prepping the kids on the differences between American and British English
• drill them on facial recognition of relatives and friends they might see
• discuss house rules or hotel etiquette in advance

Two weeks before

• Hair cuts so everyone looks good in photos by the time you travel
• Pack bags for the first time
  

A few days before trip

• Try to use up perishable food
• Try to do all the laundry so you don't come back to piles of it
• Try to clean the house or at least leave relatively tidy
• Back up all the data on your phone and make space for new pictures - I have lost a mobile phone on a trip once and it's not nice!
• Install an app to trace your phone if it does get lost
• Install at least one app the kids will enjoy playing. If you have multiple devices, download the same app to prevent quarreling over special kindle.
• Install the app for the airports and airlines you will be using
• Make sure you are well stocked on toilet paper, toothpaste, etc - it's awful coming home and being out of essentials
• Write out numbers for American/British consulates/embassies in locations you'll be on all legs of trip
• Ask your neighbor to keep an eye on the house and give number to call if see anything suspicious
• Set up grocery delivery for the day or day after your return
• Freeze an easy dinner - chicken pot pie or just a pizza. True confessions: we eat butter toast and cereal on the first night back, and my wonderful mum-in-law generally comes in the day before to leave us fresh milk and homemade bread!
• call 72 hours in advance of flight to make sure all is well with airline(s) and make sure loyalty club numbers made it, special meal requests went through, and everyone is sitting together or where they need to be.

The night before a trip

• lay out clothes for everyone - if you have more than one kid, try to match them in one color so you can tell at a glance if everyone is together and/or pick out your kids in a crowd (I usually go for neon orange). 
• As for shoes, I wear my oldest pair of shoes which are easy to slip on/off at airport security, and comfy so I don't get blisters, and loose so when my feet swell I can still wear them. And if someone vomits on them, I don't feel bad throwing them away because they're old. 
• check passports and other travel documents - insurance cards, driver licenses 
• make sure husband has drivers license, passport, any doc that he might be carrying or needing to hand over to you to carry. Nothing ruins a trip so much as flying 4,000 miles and arriving at the car rental place to discover your husband left his drivers license at home.
• check money - for taxi to and from in current country's currency is most important
• charge phones including foreign phones if taking those
• lay out Super Daddy Pack
• lay out Travel Vest
• check packing list
• check the not to pack list
• sign in to flight online if asked
• ensure everyone gets a good night's sleep
• use up any perishable food - but nothing to weird or borderline out of date for the kids
• empty bins/trash cans
• lock all doors and windows except one you're exiting out of
• discuss whether turning heating off or just to low while gone with spouse
• pre book taxi if getting a taxi (if your taxi company hasn't failed you in this department. We often call an uber or gett the morning of now.) The bus/tram often isn't working at the early hour we depart for the States.
• shave and shower
• make sure the kids have identification bracelets or that your name and mobile number are written somewhere on their person - some people recommend writing in biro on their kids' arms - this is effective but a bridge too far for me.
• charge phones, kindles, etc

The last minutes before trip

• use up or freeze any milk/other food that would go bad while away if didn't do that last night
• turn off all electrics at the wall
• check all doors, windows still locked
• wash any dishes you used at breakfast (disposable bowls/cups might be the way to go)
• close blinds/curtains
• set thermostat if you have one
• give travel sickness medicine to the child who threw up on the taxi to the airport last time

At the first airport

• Check in - you have to if you are traveling with a lap baby even if you don't have luggage to check but it's also a good opportunity to do these important checks:

• Did our skymiles/loyalty point numbers make it on the tickets?
• check if bulkhead seating available (though should have done that 4-6 months ago if serious about it) or even just are we all sitting together as a family
• get boarding passes all the way through - we have almost missed many a flight due to waiting in lines/queues to get a boarding pass for the second leg of their trip
• Go through security - but NOT during normal breastfeeding time, unless you want to repeat the waterfall breastmilk let down attack that I had once in the middle of security. Go find a seat and breastfeed the baby first, or get to the airport early enough to get through security before the let down occurs.
• Let the kids run off steam at the airport play area if there is one (Edinburgh used to have a good one and now only has the small one; London and Amsterdam have great ones!); breastfeed baby if baby is desperate, distract otherwise till airplane take-off which is the best time to breastfeed to help with their little ears popping

  

  soft play in London

• Two hours and/or ten minutes before getting on the airplane: give travel medicine or travel sickness bracelets to kids. That way if sticky medicine gets on hands, it can be washed in the bathroom rather than making the seats you'll be on for hours sticky
• Encourage everyone to use the toilet one last time
• We usually take the pre-boarding for young families opportunity for short flights, but not long flights unless we need to get on early to jockey seating so we can sit together. Otherwise you're often stuck on the airplane an hour or two longer than need-be whilst everyone else is boarded.
• everyone gets travel sickness bracelets and a chewy lollipop when it's time to take off; the baby gets a bottle or breast. Once we're in the air we hand out magazines and books.

And you're off!

Montessori

I have tried out the major homeschooling styles this year - a month for each method - and I have learned a lot about educating styles and a variety of new skills and approaches. Here are the highlights.

My inner child was really drooling to do Montessori all along - mostly for the toys, but also for the idea of the kids learning 'practical skills' (clean my house, make me pizza) and of course my surrendering my teacher role to become a 'facilitator' which just sounded too easy.

I was so wrong.

Toys

Every homeschooler's first question: 'How did you afford the toys?'

It turns out it's a lot easier to remortgage your house than I thought.

The only real Montessori toy I bought for 10.99

I also cheated.

I bought Easter baskets to use instead of wooden trays

£23.99 on the left vs. free using my sewing cutting board and some random blocks we had lying about (guess which we chose?)

We used bath mats (£5) instead of rushmats (£25) for each student's work space

My favorite thing was the mats to be each kids' 'work space.' My whole life was an invasion of little people, trying to doodle in my mathbook for me (not that I needed help) and jostling for my attention with their pressing needs of JUICE, APPLE, UP!

In the Montessori method, you quietly take your mat and lay out one thing you're working on. If you want to collaborate with someone in your within-three-years-of-age-class, you set your mats side by side. This seemed pretty revolutionary to me. And you know what - our toddler figured out and respected the system! She is a clever girl.

The Preparation

The day before launching the Montessori school method in our home, I cleared six shelves of books. This took at least an hour.

I then spent the night before every day of Montessori school setting out the wooden toys in baskets or on wooden trays in an appealing, accessible way. I put out the educational games I thought would challenge the children.

I also prepped 'Circle Time.' You can be elaborate but we just did

• our Today is ritual (weather, date, etc)
• a practical skill
• an academic lesson in less than five minutes 

We used this during circle time

It took between an hour and an hour and a half every night to get ready for the next day. I also cleared our schedules and prepped ahead chores so the kids could have 3 hours' uninterrupted playtime.

As Maria Montessori says, 'the work of the child is to play'!

I had read a lot of homeschool blogs (not Montessori method homeschoolers) which argue it's 'good' for kids to have to put up with their younger sibs' distractions and noises. Mari Montessori would not agree.

The Montessosri classroom is supposed to be silent.

It's the parents' job to facilitate and set the standard of a good work environment.

The Montessori classroom is supposed to have a cooperative feel. We work together, we don't compete.

One of the most charming things was watching my older kids help their toddler sister to do puzzles that were just outwith her abilities to start with. It was amazing to watch her watching them and then being able to do it the same day sometimes! I think the boys got a buzz out of it too.

Practical skills

It turns out my kids are capable of a lot more than I realized. We did the dishes together the first day. After a few days of doing the dishes, Z (age 7) proposed reintroducing the system of everyone keeping the 'same cup' all day, rather than using a million cups and making more dishes. He has been faithfully reminding us and keeping us focused on the 'one cup a day' rule since.

T, age almost 2, was thrilled to learn grownup chores. In transpires that her dream job is doing the dishes, scrubbing is something she aspires to, and even folding is something she'll cheerfully have a go doing.

aaaand yes he made pizza by himself for us!

We did one new 'practical skill' a day. Some of our successes were:

• washing dishes
• shining a silver platter with a mix of water and baking soda (it worked!)
• clipping hedges
• planting onions
• frying eggs on the stovetop
• getting their own drinks
• folding teatowels and put them away
• getting out the mini blender and make their own chocolate milk
• washing out the old compost bin with the hose

What were less successful:

• trying to get the kids to shine the silver teapot and coffee pot with ornate scrollwork
• dust is apparently invisible to them
• the compost I was trying to get them to stir was too smelly
• weeding got their hands too dirty

Facilitator NOT teacher

This was the hardest part for me of any of the homeschool styles.

I like to control.
I like to control everything and everybody.
The idea that the kids could just do whatever really bugged me.

I heard of a Montessori nursery where the adult facilitators weren't allowed to intervene when a child was bullying another child. I was shocked but then I thought about it and thought what would be the result? Long term? The bullied child would probably refuse to share anything with the bully or invite him to his birthday party, etc. Perhaps that would be more impressive feedback in the long run for the bully. Working things out among themselves seems to be the mantra of Montessori teachers.

The other major hurdle for me was Not punishing kids with praise. I love giving the kids encouragement and feedback for everything. But it was interesting to see that they still enjoyed doing activities without my background praise soundtrack playing. They did the puzzle for its own sake, not to get attention or garner adulation. I meanwhile just about choked on my suppressed commendations.

Math

I did freak out on Day 4 when I was thinking how skimpy we had been till then on math. I am ashamed to say I bailed on the Montessori method and made Zeddy do his normal mathbook (Abeka grade 1).

My secret informer at the local Montessori school here in Edinburgh said that math was the Number 1 concern for most parents at the school. The school responded recently by undermining its Montessori approach in favor of a more traditional approach to math, and then die-hard Montessori advocates started pulling their kids out because they felt the school was selling out on its principles.

I am so sympathetic. I am living this.

I reined myself in and said, there must be a way to teach this stuff the Montessori way.

Math-U-See being wonderful

We played with money. We counted jewels, pasta, we discussed skip-counting. It was surprisingly challenging but probably good for us all to think outside the box.

I do not think this would be sustainable for us in the long term - I don't think a busy schedule, health problems or anything distracting would be conducive to this type of Montessori homeschooling, for me anyway.

Risk taking

I used to think I was a gutsy girl, a lover of danger, a risk taker.

This part of Montessori almost broke me.

So the first day I tightened my belt and let the 2-year-old paint with acrylic (not water color). In clothes. Inside. Without lots of newspaper.

My original idea of risk taking

Another day we tried face paint.

Climbing and rope balancing seem to be a Montessori thing so we tried that.

Of course this doesn't come close to true standards of Montessori risk-taking.

A story I heard was that a kid in a Montessori nursery was hiking up the climbing frame with a knife and a nursery teacher (who was on supply) went to intervene but was told off.

we reenacted

Cyrus had a go

everyone had to have a go

Risk taking got more elaborate as the days went by

Funerals, it turns out, are cheaper than the Montessori toys

Maybe I have been making light and being unfair to the Montessori method. What works for you in your Montessori method, what do you do differently and what do you like best?